Doors: Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. Special note: After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things as you linger. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, cold, snow, or after dark during mosquito season.
Reading: If the one you love is reading a book, a magazine, or anything else made of paper, get close under the chin between the eyes and the book...unless, of course, you can lie across the reading material itself...scratching the material gets an unpleasant reaction from the one you love: so be careful.
Computers: When you human is working at a computer, jump onto the desk, walk across the keyboard (especially when they turn to look at other reference material), bat at the mouse pointer on the screen. Ultimately, you can recline on the reference materials...hey, another book... or insist that the human's lap be made available. If it's the lap, be sure to lie across the human's arms to hamper typing...although this could get you pushed off.
Walking: As often as possible dart quickly and as closely as possible in front of the human on stairs, when the human has something in their arms, in the dark, or when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills....(It would also help find this cat a new home!!!)
Bedtime: Always sleep on the human at night. This keeps them from moving around so you can keep better track of them.
Litter Box: When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much liter out of the box as possible especially if your box is on a hard floor rather than carpeting. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
Bathrooms: Always accompany humans to the bathroom. You'll get the best reaction when you just sit and stare. No other action is required...unless you want to practice walking as described above.
My cat has several of these mastered. I'm glad he has not heard several of the others. I think I'll keep them from him!!
